I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING

It's been a long time since I have visited my blog. I just spent some time reading some of my old posts and I have some pretty good content. So much has happened since I have written. So the very short version is we have been stationed in Nashville for the last 3 years and I am now a therapist. Say what!!! I know I can hardly believe it myself. It's true though as of June 11, 2018 I have been paid therapist at an eating disorder/recovery center named Journey Pure. As I did an intake today on our new system I was very nervous because I realized I don't know what I am doing. I have this fear of letting people see me less than stellar especially when it comes to profession. I have this innate need to be be pristine. I realized as I fumbled through the entire assessment that I don't know what I am doing and it's ok. I even told my client that I was just learning a new system and to bear with me, she was very understanding. However, I still felt really inadequate and quite frankly stupid the entire time through the assessment. Now that I've had some time to think about it I feel ok about it. I began to think about so many things that I didn't really know how to do that I can do efficiently now. Such as typing without looking, I remember being in high school so jealous of my friend who could type so fast without looking. I had this program named Mavis Beacon teaches typing that I used to practice with all the time. I can't even begin to tell you when I realized that I could actually type without looking (and pretty quick no less). The thing I did realize is that I wasn't good at something and I was going to need help or a tool to make me better. I couldn't do it by myself. Asking for help is not a sign a weakness. I know it's something we hear often but I really want people to grasp this concept. We all need tools to help us get to where we need to go. Ask for help when you can't figure it out because the reality is that person didn't know what they were doing at some point either. We need to break down the walls of "meism" and perfectionism. It doesn't serve anyone. When was the last time you didn't know what you were doing? What were the tools you used to help change that? We are all born not knowing how to do stuff and learning is what connects us to one another.